CEO Insight- A Guide to Better Listening
April 20, 2012
A CEO client and I were having our monthly call about company strategy, direction and progress. I noted the improvement in communication between him and his partner the CFO. When I asked him what had changed he said, “I am listening”.
This was a profound statement- this CEO is charismatic, inspiring and influential but he was a very poor listener. We had worked on this in our coaching sessions and after a number of months he had made progress. It is not easy to change a fundamental behavior specifically that of becoming a better listener. Talking about the concept is not enough- you can tell someone over and over that they aren’t listening but as you likely know it doesn’t get you anywhere. Rather you have to focus on how listening enhances the relationship and changes the dynamics of interaction.
Here is a quick guide to better listening:
#1- Stop talking- simple just stop
#2- Pay attention- sit back and watch for body language and emotion
#3- Let them finish- resist the urge to interrupt
#4- Notice your personal reaction to what you hear and take a few breaths before responding
Oh and one more thing- what about the CEO’s time you might ask? He or she does not have time for people on their team to talk on endlessly. That’s where the above rules can shift. If you have someone who is an incessant talker who won’t get to the point you do have the perfect opportunity to put up your hand in a non threatening way (keep hand relaxed and closer to your body) and say, “Jane if you could get to the point please (smile) I really have to get moving with some deadlines”. Typically people will ‘get it’ and get to the point.
In my experience CEOs are driver personalities which means they think fast, talk fast and move fast but often they are not the best listeners. I myself have had to work on this skill and as a coach it is an imperative skill. I find I still have to work on the skill when interacting with peers or family!
At the end of the day a CEO’s success is about how well he or she can communicate with the people that they work with, their clients and partners. Tweaking a skill such as listening can reap major rewards in our relationships.